··mind trip·····

hi blog

2008-10-06T11:31:00.002+08:00

maybe im back?

--
sometimes darkness plays with light
one perceives
a glimmer impressed/'magined
perhaps hoped
whatever the dark shows you
only you
can really know what it'd be
define it
make it real
live it through

31 and life

2006-08-11T03:33:00.000+08:00

well not just yet. maybe 30 is just too unsettlingly round a number, so it becomes the next one after it. pictures taken from when you felt they asked to be taken are like the random, untriggered thoughts in your head that you wonder why theyre there, but after theyre there, you remember them for what you were feeling when they happened by. blog here. feed here.

ive not really stopped posting here, theyre mostly just not published :) thirty1 is maybe a way for me to post again and feel slaphappy about blogging.

argh blog drought!

2006-03-16T03:23:00.000+08:00

sucks lots when i havent posted much these past few months. especially when a lots been happening. really wish i can put up all these things, probly when i come back. seeya then, or at least if anyones still watching heheh.

amihan wk2

2006-02-06T04:14:00.000+08:00

week 2 of amihan league, played last sunday, saw our team mislaying two games versus stronger teams. this sunk us down to 1-4 on a 5wk single round shuffle, but the next few games will be against our skill-level peers, so that should even up the ratio. well we had some amusing fun, which i guess was more significant to this team at least. most of our players in the team were beginners, playing in their 1st league, so team skill was as expected, and theres huge room for improvement. we're hoping we do much better versus the b-teams where the odds are even. rest of the pics here!

2006-02-05T03:12:00.000+08:00

shot prenup for bok & sym, and had a bit of chance to snap a few to post. this week i was supposed to be shooting 'a certain shade of green' as a theme but it turned out that i ended up with these warm tone shots. later today i will be slugging it out on the greass at that marikina sports stadium for the second weekend of the amihan league, so im sure i would have chances to get those green shots after all.
the prenup shots wont be ready until next week, sadly--- with the sked i have, and with the number of raw shots i have to wade through (only about 280 of them), itd only be fair for it to take that long. cant blame me, this was the first time i did a prenup thing, so i didnt have a really solid idea how to get around it. anyway, just wait when im done with em.

savagely

2006-01-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

zoto.com

2006-01-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

gallery also found here

2006-01-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

came from an ultimate disc tourney called savage weekend just last week, held at the up sunken garden (saturday) and the ateneo high school fields (sunday), and as the name implies, games saw players dealing punishing blows and barbaric acts of violence ...on their own bodies that is. blood was everywhere and no substitutions for the men's division and the games went for 30 minutes nonstop. that would mean after a game you walk away limping on whats left of your legs or lying down knocked out on a stretcher. just kidding. it was tiring and i didnt think i could pull it off, but i discovered that i could just by pretending to be playing and bumming around the field while my teammates hacked it out for me. while lying down and recuperating on the grass in between the backbreaking games i was half thinking of escaping and running away. well, not really run away because i actually cant run anymore. you know, hide behind a tree or something, then pretend to be a branch if they see you and call you when the next game starts. kidding. i loved playing and violating my knees, and i would not let anyone play in my stead, lest they get all the points. actually my team never scored more than 2 points in any of our games, but it was the experience that counts (thats what they say when you dont win). i scored a couple and those were enough to make me smile with impunity when i slept at night.

womens division games went well and were fun to watch. this time around the girls from up sunken pleasure came out on top after a tussle with the purple bitches (i love that construction). thats all, i just wanted to say that.

pictures to follow. i brought pan with me, and his 19.1x zoom was delicious. i could even get ok shots from the grandstand while it rained. thats what all the tele is about.

my spike adidases were great and comfy, and they brought me through nicely, but alas they feel bad that they werent able to injure anyone during the tourney.

patrick the starfish visited the games that saturday, check out the photos when they come out.

enter 06

2006-01-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

zoto.com

xmark hat

2005-12-18T03:33:00.000+08:00

x marks the spot. for the better part of the day, played ultimate with teams having hat-drawn players. a hat tourney! very good good things (other than plainly just being able to play ultimate, dammit) include scoring cool points, making good blocks, and being with the usual friendly disk cohorts. very bad bad things include unpleasantly twisting my right ankle (even with my new spikes), missing should-have-been-cool catches, and not taking any. pictures. at. all. heck the weather was crazy anyway, being stiffly hot one moment and dark and drenchy the next-- youd probably remember the day as different ones altogether. there was free beer on the field though, 4 cold cans of which i was able to snake off. and the mud from all the drizzle made it pretty interesting to roll around on the ground after a bid.

the after-game pua xmas party was pretty cool too. friendly lots of people, healthy varieties of booze, but a couple of letdowns that will have to be fixed.

overall, hats are always cool to play as people get to rub more with the the rest of the other people. grinding either on the green or the party floor. next hat will definitely be one big thing to look forward to.

loot!

2005-12-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

spikey and sorta retro styley, the adidas corner blitz, for once a football (pigskin) shoe rather than a football (soccer) shoe. this, from the loot i got from a big sudden online spending spree, by way of my sweet chubby little sister (i use the term chubby very loosely) who came home from the US today.

note the deathly heel impalers and the coolly iconic tri stripes that i revere. this shoe is a lot more comfortable than the adidas f50-type that i also have. i cant wait to cut in these. i am such an adidas whore.

i also got a new pair of hikers, which i just saw over the net. these sandals made it to the shopping list too, and i think id be wearing these too often.

oh yeah and i got this too-- the star wars ultimate visual guide is a hardbound coffeetable book (one can argue) that spans all 6 movie episodes and behind-the-scenes as well as the expanded star wars universe (which is covered in star wars novels comics and video games). this book is jammed with super large pages of information that somehow surprises me with things i still didnt know about the saga (oh like, boba fett is still alive, but maybe im just not that much of a fanboy), but it also has a lot of very cool background stories on the things i did know about.

the cover of course is a big menacing mug of star wars posterboy vader (who else will be on the cover eh), all in his black glory. this book will be sure to spend a few weeks on my bed, along with scar tissue. currently with the time i can only give to my bed, im sure i wont finish satisfactorily scouring the book until a couple of months. i scanned the book already, it took me an hour to go through the pages just looking at the tasty illustrations and observing the organization of the stuff in it. i cant wait to slug through the book!!

i have a new 1 gig sd card too. this one's going to stay put in my digicam, big stubby-nosed Pan. have to get him a new backup battery soon, because this 8 meg monster is a pig when it comes to power. so if im feeding him so much memory, he has to have the battery to keep at it

all this for only $272.61. i am such an impulsive mouseclicker, and it will be the probable death of my finances.

and all of it rolls into..

2005-12-07T02:37:00.000+08:00

one nicer benefit of keeping even a mayhap journal, like this blog, is that it gives me panes to peek into, and see again what i used to be like. every word a familiar story and tone-- sometimes it plays like a deja vu movie. othertimes it feels like im reading someone elses life. like a done script, it lays out lights thoughts and feelings even music and tastes in my head like how they did the moment i typed those posts in. a venerable virtual time capsule.

k.k. and i.

2005-11-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

i have just been to likely the highest point on this planet that i will ever be with my feet still touching the ground. past 4 kilometers above sea, i breathed that furious air and watched that blue and red sunrise and knew that this experience will be one of those things that play in my head a final time before i expire.

2005-10-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

my sister g will have a cornea transplant on her right eye tomorrow afternoon. the operation will take an hour, and she will come out of the hospital with someone else's eye tissue in her head, hopefully being able to see a lot better than how she does right now (she sees everything past 5 meters like through a frosted glass wall). thanks to organ donation, and such astounding luck while on the waiting list.

g is funny about her eye condition though. one time daw she was in a seminar, and she was listening intently to a speaker. the speaker asked someone in the audience a question, then there was a long pause, like time hung in the air. after which the speaker went, 'huy!!!!' and she got badly startled. the speaker was looking straight at her pala but she couldnt tell, and she laughed it off while she explained why she didnt know it was her that the question was directed at.

anyway. so my mom was borrowing a bit of cash from me for the operation because it came so sudden; we werent expecting it at all this month, not even this year. hope i have enough left over for my fz-30 which im getting at hidalgo after that. if i wont, i guess it should be okay. my sister's better eyesight would be more worthful than a 35-420mm prosumer digicam.

the misadventures of bubblewrapboy, pt.3

2005-06-02T21:01:00.000+08:00

been doing a pretty good job of keeping myself scarce from the rest of the population. havent seen another sentient being the whole day. although their noises can be heard as they fuss through the household, they generally keep away at least 5 feet from my closed room, and you can actually by intuition see that theyre doing their best to stay that much away. when i creep outside the room, in an instant no-one seems to be around, and usually my food would be all fixed on a tray, nicely on top of a sitting-chair in the foyer, such that i wouldnt have to venture out too much. i dont plan to either, im not too keen to be spotted (puns, puns)

the misadventures of bubblewrapboy, pt.2

2005-06-02T04:06:00.000+08:00

since i had been sleeping the whole day yesterday, it was impossible to catch even a wink the whole night.

id been catching up on personal things the past couple days that would have been possible under normal conditions, so i suppose this is all not bad. ah well except for the blisters of course... they came out in tight bunches of small, 2D, measles-like spots, and the normal chickenpox blister variety. i re-emphasise "tight" here very well: if youd like the benefit of mathematical descriptions, say maybe, 10 to 15 small spots per square inch average on my midriff and upper limbs, and some 50 normal blisters overall. not too bad for numbers' sake, but not too good for me either.

the misadventures of bubblewrapboy, pt.1

2005-05-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

as whatever wry fate might have it, it was found funny to have someone to infect me with chickenpox right in the start of a busy workweek. and to think i was undergoing training that bound me for 6 months or P100k. id gotten a nondescript fever just the prior weekend which i would usually ignore until i found a couple of suspicious blisters on my skin. of course i had worried just a bit but i didnt want to believe it was really chickenpox.
a quick diagnosis after, in a hospital where yani accompanied me, i was already thinking what ill be doing for 2 weeks while the stupid virus does its thing. ill have dvds and my xbox, and short jabs of work for sure, but ill miss disc and that training i was looking forward to the whole month. id be worried actually also how much scarred ill get after this stunt. and of course that infertility scare, which was real anyway, even if it was highly unlikely.
the ward left me with a P6k worth of prescriptions. add to that some 1k more of relief goods. okay virus do your thing.

E

2005-02-10T01:46:00.000+08:00

if i were a guitar chord, id be an E13. so with my trusty pinky i can be an E9 or a quick funky E7+9. then i can play on E for an hour, scratching something fierce and frenetic, frusciante-style, then fall off to sleep.

some cool E songs.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Power of Equality
Pearl Jam - Black
Led Zep - Communication Breakdown
Metallica - (probably all. chug chug chug!)
Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan
blah blah blah.

everyone loves E

2005-02-08T04:56:00.000+08:00

it's almost just later a little after 5 am and sleep still evades
like a 3-across and an 8-down on the tip of an ink dot.
ive made my bed and the tiger has already sat on the corner;
later, a pre-lunch text message that may change a course
and a mood dependent on how deft a waking-up and a hastening will go.

how i wish she changes her mind! yet to fly will be her best stake
though everything good must be just in the wellest of wishes,
as those things normally go.

maybe i will get to know? mayhap learn to-- through this thick skull
to really see that there is a here when there is not any there
and only perhaps a maybe where a sure would have been so certain.

2005-02-08T04:35:00.000+08:00

gray stain patterns and scratches on tile
inviting, like watching clouds dance on dismal sky

squint-eyed and see half with your mind's eye
ikons, secret messages your inner self reveals by

white stain patterns and blood on tile!
revolt, repel. yet she grasps claw-like with dire
a whisper you will hear yet not be listened for words
a movement of lips yet an absence of sound, like a void

the failure of love as a promised comfort of that life

2004-12-31T13:44:00.000+08:00

farewell to this cruelsweet year.

2004-10-22T10:48:00.000+08:00

goodbye, Spike. i hope youll still have your journeys.

how to

2004-10-10T04:11:00.000+08:00

(way up on the mountain where she died
all i ever wanted was your life
deep inside the canyon i can't hide
all i ever wanted was your life)

...show love with no remorse
this is the way i wanted it to be with you
this is the way i know that it would be with you

. . . .
When everything else fails, close the lights and sit on the bed and play the guitar. no song in particular, just let it rip from the inside out. stare out the window through the translucent glows of the streetlamps on the glass as if on an off-focus puzzle. do not think, feel your way out. like seventh sense, but it will soon feel familiar like moving through your room in pitch darkness when reaching out for the lamp switch

--there are planes where you feel that everything is moot; pass through these without a glance back. there are planes where you believe time can move back and reclaim things lost; look but do not touch. then there are planes where you finally come to understand. this is where you settle lightly, as if to not disturb or make ripples

this is when you fly off the bed and switch the lights back on. rush to the fridge and retrieve your cookies-and-cream, then crash on the couch to watch your favorite channel.

apart

2004-10-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

she rises, majestic and furious and ablaze,
and eyes never behold her for her true glory.
the earth is bathed of her resplendence
the air renewed, the waters cleansed
as she walks across the sky, her berth.

she leaves as brilliant as she had arrived
the nourishing warmth sweeping away in her wake.

---

he stirs, lonesome, lamenting, deeply pining,
all things feed him their own sorrows and pain.
the soil turns of dark gloom and goth
breath comes cold, seas spread blackened
as he trudges along his love's golden path, his distress.

he fades rather than departs, ghostly so,
his presence a reflection and his light a fallen ardour.

---

ages swing as steadily as they pass
but never will a time that their rays should touch
on the same ground at the same time.

2004-09-27T02:21:00.000+08:00

after trying to kill myself from an OD of orange marmalade (the most harm i did was sneezing an orange peel out my left nostril), i figured that the sad story causing my hapless, deplorable mood was a figment, out of maybe ego and sensible sentimentality. and perhaps dizzying amounts of phenylethylamine.

. . . .
she gave me a 20 cd collection of ghibli/miyazaki films (lets see: Nausicaa, Laputa, Totoro, Kiki, Porco, On Your Mark, Mononoke Hime, Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, and Howl's Moving Castle), much to this miya-newbie's delight. ive only known totoro of course, and mononoke hime, and if those cookies are from that jar, im in for a treat.

and oh a nice black ribbed sweater from seoul that makes me look the schoolboy that she thinks i am.

. . . .
so going back, thanks to the pulpy preserve, i have seen the foolishness of my spiral mindset, which could have taken me farther down than id like. and it's just a matter of further tweaking expectations and seeing things in a different light (try 3d glasses), before i can pull myself back into my uhm normal self.

maybe i just got tired too of feeling sorry and replaying reminiscence. the bittersweetness of it was decidedly intoxicating. it by human standards after all is requisite practice, so theres nothing to blame. just a question of when to snap out.

now if only i can think of where in my heart to keep this box at

2004-09-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

if theres any other way out

i will

2004-09-24T01:26:00.000+08:00

sunrise 8: bora beach. when i see this pic i remember the sand between my toes, the sound of the surf, and the morning wind against my face :)

. . . . .
Other than mine, it's james' too, and jim henson's, and that guy who invented neon light. it's when the first dirigible made its maiden voyage, it's when the first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier was launched. it's when sigmund freud died. it's when the first human blood transfusion occurred.

this year was when i won some and lost some; gained it and lost it; picked up a couple of and lost a couple other;

and found one, lost one-- something i could have kept forever.

but hey, lifes pretty much like that, and it happens to everyone, so, as itd say, just dust off and keep walking.

things that are nice, malloons, and a net-savvy help

2004-09-20T01:25:00.000+08:00

after a harrowing morning with some take-home work (had to struggle with a shy dsl connection while doing remote work at home), was able to escape to the gym at galleria, then met up with M after their dodgeball movie to eat late late dinner. while waiting for her (beside the escalator which i took a lazy shot of), this guy comes up and tries to talk to me (i should have asked him to repeat what he first said, but he said "i find you nice," and other suspiciously gender-bender hints. id add that this remind me of that) and in a split-second i made like i was busy texting or something and i was answering him with autopilot uh-huhs and incomprehensible mutters. i didnt know how else to react to him. he left humiliated, id guess, after a moment with a quick "bye," and i couldnt help feeling bad about treating him like that. least i could have done is talked to him straightforwardly (stress on straight). he looked decent naman, and admittedly good-looking. i guess i didnt want the mess of talking to him and giving him false signals. i think im too kind for my own good. anyway..

balloons! or rather, malloons. there were hundreds of them around in the movie lounge of the mall, for some promo thing for some movie. there were a couple of toddlers running around a bunch of these that are around a pillar, and theyd squeal loudly when they catch each other.

nice pinks and yellows. didnt do well with matching the mood of the movie theyre promoting though (i forgot which movie, but it was impressionably not bagay, whatever it was). i wanted to take another shot with the kids along with the balloons, but this other guy on the table beside mine was looking at me in a funny way. no, a different guy.

M told me about this blog of an alleged domestic help named chona mae. a maid from a residence in posh valle 1, chona apparently is net-wise enough to manage a blog (and a very popular one at that; just watch the comments fly in), but throws really crooked english all over the place. and i took a gander and it was really funny, but at the point that i felt the blog is being suspiciously staged by a bored but witty individual. see for yourself; mam tess is also buy me kitkat and nestle crunch and kisses also. she is also give me lip glows. lip glows is look like a lipstick but mam mam tess say that lip glows is make the lips shine. is very happy. it's like that all throughout, it kinda gets tiring, but the storytelling carries the real humor.

off to sleep now. have a meeting at 8am. death-defying to wake up that early by my standards.

need to tell you

2004-09-17T13:27:00.000+08:00

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
-Coldplay

this song permeates and holds the secret of everyone's life
inasmuch it's never a secret or a hidden story
everyone's is just different in some way

it would be a fantastic wish to be able to go back to the start
but that would mean losing everything,
and i would rather be able to just look back to it all

ramble on!

2004-09-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

took the day off as i was not in the condition to work

called up my bandmates to pull them to practice tonight at home. just a sit-down, candle-lit acoustic jam kind of thing (if funk rock can be done as such) been a while na kasi since we put together our heads to write ulit.

got in contact with a girl drummer (jazz daw) who was willing to try out. buti nalang our ads on philmusic.com and livebands.com.ph are paying off a bit. girl drummer pa! haha. or a guy pala that drums girls. ill decide.

picked up Spike again and took shots to wring him (me?) back into the roll. snap, snap

2004-09-16T13:03:00.000+08:00

pictures and parcels of what came and went,
play on the moonlit wall of this cell:
plaintive, deconstructing, ill

palpable still, as a touch of a distant godsend
permute, a faint familiar now dwell.
persist! but this heart will still
-at closing of 9/15

very well, this blog is back, pero what of? haha was meaning to pull one of those fast-becoming-common photoblogs, id love to. dont have much to pitch in right now though. kinda lost the momentum i had before.

id make this a once in a while 'soundblog' with tracks i make, either the for-fun recordings i make for myself or the soundclips i make as material for my band, but im still thinking of how to present it here (nothing invasive as a force-played midi through the browser!) and also where to store them (as if worthy ipost harhar)

what hasnt changed though, is my lack of time to do things id rather. ive always said work is work, but it doesnt seem to be so with how things are. my paradigm now would be, or rather should be: id spend as much time for myself as i do at work-- but that wouldnt give much room for sleep :) unless i consider sleeping as time for myself siguro? (--dream!)

i kind of question now the personal crusades we make in the name of our careers (but i append disclaimer that the argument is largely subjective). i just have the creeping feeling that the job and the life has switched positions, if you get my meaning. then again, it's up to people. me im just heavily biased

heavy!! sigh good thing i have happiness webradio and the soothing pleasure of gonuts and warm milk. as i sit beside the warm crackling and glowing light of my failing monitor.

---------------------------------
AND before it rolls off this page; wana re-post something that was then relevant and again is.

Yeild
and Watch Pass

Two sides
to every Story

Listen
_____Perceive
____________Gain

and Live Again

-7/31/03, after Passing

a year····

2004-09-03T02:18:00.000+08:00

one year!

between this post and the last, an episode that my memory wont fail
an epilogue that belike will run to an unend
a story that i will miss
even if it had happened to me

2003-09-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

lotsa new things here and there, kinda hard to keep things going onblog

i have a 6week dearth. from life in manila at least. be off to buenos aires. my anticipation's spraying itchies all over. cant help being nervous about any haphazard mess thats waiting to happen there (getting lost, robbed, running out of money, things to do, hahaha) but then, this is about the nicest opportunity im getting the whole year.

wish id have things to do. my other workmate who's in peoria (the luckless man) which is about the boringest place in the US to be called a city, is running decrepit by the weather and the listlessness. i better be getting better chances than him. anyway, it's buenos aires, im sure thered be lots to keep me preoccupied.

this weekend first. a 3day climb on mt.ugu in benguet, amci 3rd training climb for this year's batch of trainees. considering the weather, i think wed be up for an interesting one.

whew. not much news. what a dull.

2003-08-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

hala. may banda na naman ako. balik ako sa muskeepops (sana talaga pwedeng palitan pangalan plis lang), nag ayos sila ng sked para sakin, naks. na tats naman ako na sa sobrang gusto nila sakin prepared sila mag jamming ng lampas alas dose ng gabi. na para namang di ganun yung gawain nila ngayon, haha.

hmm, marunong pa ba ko mag gitarang nakatayo hehe

2003-08-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

gagawa daw ako ng bread & flower shop na pangalan Buns n' Roses. ok ba. teka mahirap ata bread & flowers, baka putaktehin mga monay ko. flower shop nalang, na pangalan Petallica.

sobrang OT na to ha.

2003-08-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

once upon a time there were his wishes that didnt come true
they were perhaps dreams that just leaked, waking days, into
or yellow songbirds singing then when he listens, off they flew

gloom that these sweet things fizzled into the blue
but they had seemed so real, so unmistakable too

is it so bad, that it turned him into a rhyming goo?
maybe not so -
just someone with something nice to look back to

2003-08-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

gymming and little attempts to gain weight grew me like 20 pounds says fred the bathroom scale but i think i look exactly the same as when i started. maybe im getting fat on the inside rather than out? and then i keep getting lower back pains during heavy exertions, i hear my structure cant handle the extra load im putting on and my spine's doing the complaining. meanwhile, theoretically i need to sleep longer because of all this, but then my work is keeping me from it (now as instance). oh and i should mention that im spending way too much on food from eating lunch twice a day (like hobbits they have second breakfastses). i ask my dieting friends what they dont eat and i eat those. i forecast that this is what's going to get me killed someday.

in other news, chatting with my old bandmates i discover that theyre considering taking me back because their current guitar player's showing bitchy attitude. i think they want my playing, period. maybe im bragging, but thats what i think, my kung fu fits theirs like a nunchuck to the face. heheh. if circumstances go right, id be gigging again :)

as well; just to keep things counterbalanced, management is thinking of throwing me to buenos aires for around 2 months to fetch better know-how to do my job on my own. can i say two-year bind? maybe with a slight wince. monkeywrench, monkeywrench. more on this as things develop.

just got down from a technical climb over at mt.cristobal last weekend. pity that i hadnt taken as much pics as i wanted. lots of ropes and slip sliding loose soil and i didnt want spike to catch any. after about 6 hours of trekking, we got to the campsite early, but i was too tired to click pics at all. no nice shots, anyway, no view where the camp was. the socials were a lot of fun though, ambudance of alcohol to swim around in. not enough though to keep me from crawling when going back to the tent to sleep. anyways, ill try to post pics here.

. . . .

churny withdrawal's almost done with. good thing i have pills to help. sayang, i could have stayed addicted forever :)

2003-08-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

boy this is fun, looks like ill be doing overtime work like this the rest of the week. reason is, my couterpart who's in buenos aires has to train me over email and instant messaging (imagine that haha). buenos aires is 11 hours away from manila time, which means i stay over till about midnight just to catch him on their working hours.

this would be a lot easier if they send me there instead.

2003-08-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

im happy because everything sucks and im doing just fine

2003-07-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

Yeild
and Watch Pass

Two sides
to every Story

Listen
_____Perceive
____________Gain

and Live Again

2003-07-30T15:04:00.000+08:00

she's right, Blue is a girl. so is Magenta, who's Blue's, uh, magenta-colored doggie friend (as well as the show's host, as far as im concerned). heck, who would guess a blue-colored dog to be female? there werent any gender references were there? (lets see.. affinity to talking salt & pepper shakers, no... remarkable tolerance to egghead co-host, no... shoddy furniture, maybe...) i never saw her pee in the show, and that's the only way anyone would know for sure. i mean, for a dog. in a toddler's show.

i should believe her more often eh no? now if only she's not always right hehehe

2003-07-30T13:04:00.000+08:00

far-off movie stuff.

al molina's doctor octopus. pretty smashing huh. im waiting for screencaps already, im imagining lots of matrix-sentinel-tentacle action sequences :) the casting for doc ock's pretty good, molina seems to fit the role real nicely. hahaha, as usual, i root for the bad guys. lalo na if theyre intentionally evil, not just the confused or misguided kind who say spreads a deadly bacterial disease because he thinks it will make blue cheese taste better for all humanity.

hugh jackman plays dark, brooding Van Helsing, the 19th century monster hunter in the Bram Stoker vein. dracula, frankenstein, wolf man, igor, complete the motleyvictorian cast, and by the looks of it their appearances have been majorly revamped for a tim burtonesque feel. shoots are done, movie's in 2004. director who made the mummy franchise is heading this one, so i guess expect similarities. no clunky brendan fraser lines though please.

hmm, this movie could pass as a castlevania adaption come to think of it :)

LXG, or the league of extraordinary gentlemen. talk about uncanny casting. this multimyth glop of a movie's really luring at least for me; dream team of literary protagonists -- a dracula vampiress, the invisible man, dr jekyll/mr hyde, tom sawyer (!), captain nemo, and wilde's dorian gray --? it's in the next set of upcoming films, i hope it doesnt bomb out. i saw a glimpse of the monster theyre up against and i dont like him, he looks like someone who'd spread a deadly bacterial disease because he thinks it will make blue cheese taste better for all humanity (he looks like blue cheese too)

Matrix Revolutions, of course. but im a bit fed up with the matrix hype & throng already. by the time it comes out in november though, ill be ready again :) Return of the King is easily still my creame. with star wars ep3 and long-locked anakin still (in a galaxy) far far away, there are no distractions for this december's trilogy-ender for me. bring on shelob and the witch king!

2003-07-28T10:03:00.000+08:00

three ways out of sunday and only one i can really take.

this pathos thing is really trippy isnt it

addendum:

three ways
two thoughts
one

three tries
two outcomes
none

maybe;

2003-07-21T13:27:00.000+08:00

my sweet karmic harbinger. you're worth all the heartache

2003-07-15T09:09:00.000+08:00

1.. 2.. 3.. 4..
5..
6..
7..
8...

whew.

2003-07-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

yahu! oh to look forward to other new things. quizzical, curious. we should all be so disquisitive talaga..

meanwhile, im getting tired with this flat template. e di pag may oras.

when nothing's around to make me happy, i just smile, out of the blue, and i end up feeling a tad happier somehow. nothing like the real thing, of course, but it helps to at least look cheerful. these and the thoughts of things that make me happy.

happiness is very underrated talaga.

and i should see to not waste time anymore worrying on things that shouldnt matter at the moment. this i learned from someone who does it so well, thanks.

there are small tokens i keep to keep me anchored. small things to reel in the big things that count.

2003-07-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

when this belly butterfly is done and over with,
____________i will look back to all this and say
____________________________it was all worth it;

___i suppose everything that happens is worth it
___________i guess all is indeed fair and comely
_______________________________and unregretting.

_this emo-psychological lucid rollercoaster ride
_______________either ends with a rise or a fall
___________________________________and whichever

____________________________________it should be
________________________________________will be.

2003-07-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

life is short. eat the marshmallow!!

2003-07-11T20:07:00.000+08:00

feel like a kid and a plate of yummy cookies sits on a kitchen window
and theyre calling out to me jb eat me i creep over and touch

but theyre cold but theyre hot
so i stare and wait
and wait
yum

2003-07-11T08:45:00.000+08:00

see, it's not so hard.

got my pc at home back up, even my big monitor's working fine already. i dont know what i did but it worked. now i can play music in my room again :) was able to play my guitar again last night, even if i got home past midnight (and even if i had a following 7am appointment, which went well pala) i guess it's just about making time to do those things, even if sandali lang. when i got sleepy i didnt put shannyn back in her case, instead i leaned her on the wall nalang, so next time itd be easier to pick her up and just play, even if im waiting lang for my pc to boot (yey, it finally does na!)

it rained torrents last night and i was caught witless with it. i had to pass by rcbc tower after work to return the cookset i loaned from m. when i got out it was pouring like a madman. didnt take a cab, i ran across ayala and jumped over the steel fences on the sidewalks and in the middle of the street to catch a bus (it's late anyway) but hurrying to not get wet was pointless because i had to walk din a long ways when i got off (it's surreal to watch the sheets of rain under the lamp posts on the street)

2003-07-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's there sometimes not
the more it dwells, eager it yearns

so swells and fills and rises
a blue balloon against yellow sky
it never knew it had so risen far;

the flight and flurry of an ardor affixed in its heart

(unfinished)

2003-07-09T09:53:00.000+08:00

manabo peak, malipuño.

my friend's pics here

2003-07-04T18:32:00.000+08:00

tomorrow ascends meter eight thirty
cloud and fog and delirium tremens, maybe

2003-07-03T08:20:00.000+08:00

someone sly advanced my watch by one hour. so i was in the office at 7am, and i was green-eyed at why there arent enough people on the sidewalks.

bumped into my former bandmate on the train, on the way to work. they had a gig previously and he was narrating how everything went. inggit tuloy ako. di daw nya ako nakilala kasi naka pang opis ako, mukha daw akong seryoso, ngayon lang daw nya ko nakitang naka pantalon hahaha

found out i ran out of cash when i got off the train. i was thinking of riding an ordinary bus and evading the conductor, but thought better and walked along buendia for an atm. well all the fecking machines were offline so i walked all the way to the office. which wasnt half-bad as it came out. it was pleasant walking on the nicey greenshaded sidewalks on paseo.

later id chance my luck and run to this outdoor shop at buendia to get a new 33L bag for this weekend's climb. para pareho kami bag, hehe :) we were supposed to buy a tent too, but then i guess it's not time yet..

last night i made james take pics off spike. ill show ye later

*gag* ang sikip ng tie ko

2003-07-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

semblance of single-trackedness. im afraid to think that my work has swallowed most of my time, or maybe im just taken by the incongruence between now and my 8-month monster recess. my pc that i love has lost shape (broken monitor and a failed soundcard) and it just lies there in stasis with its parts sticking out from the sidepanel. shanynn my acoustic guitar hardly comes out of her case anymore, much less buzz my electric guitar, who used to have field days when i was with the last band i was in. my internet impetuousity took a hiatus. and so with all my online fixations (which is a lot really, id hate to start thinking about them). i suppose it's all about time. i dont have it when im ever at home. i feel like my room is just my bed.

maybe i need more "portable" hobbies. much like carrying spike around, who's easy to coax out and snap about. i was considering a lomo since months ago; when intrepid r got one and made really deliciously discrepant pics with it, i had wanted one for myself (i already have a name for it too). i mean, now that i have money to swing around. another thing is taking my music out with me: a cheap digital track player and lots of memory should do it. and if i had the gall to ridge out my resources, a new pda with wireless access should curb my swelling net tooth, but i doubt itd ever happen like that.

it's good though that i have my climbs and spike. everytime theres a trip a whole lot of unwinding gets done. my digital camera's one of the better stuff that i got myself, really. then im coveting to string up my other band together, the one that plays unplugged covers (i have a thing with the term 'acoustic' haha); we're all makati-based IT pimps, so banding up again wouldnt be too rough.

then theres this other thing, my other thing, that at times feels like the only thing in the world

so thats it.. a few fixes away back to happy contentedness

2003-06-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

it is as i have dreamed
______boon & to astound
_______and it will fill
______but only to empty
___on but a single fall

my endurance will carry me
________run me only as far
____as my will could stand

____with my despondency
____________with my joy
_______i will not cease
until it withers, rests
___or explodes in bloom.

2003-06-25T14:57:00.000+08:00

last weekend's river romp in bagsit river over at zambales. ill let my pics explain everything :)

2003-06-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

for my direful decaffeinated buddy :)

2003-06-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

you silly boy. stop worrying your arse off.
if at all, worry about the rain outside.

should i? im too happy to :)

2003-06-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

just some old pics i took that took me.

anyway, was just procastinating a bit at work. it gets mind-numbing sometimes.

2003-06-17T18:33:00.000+08:00

could have lied
could have said none

____right in the middle

but it isnt for my head to say
what is that cant be kept

2003-06-15T14:03:00.000+08:00

Rocket.
Bleed in your own light
Dream of your own life
I miss me
I miss everything I'll never be
And on, and on

I torch my soul to show
The world that I am pure
Deep inside my heart
No more lies

A crown of horns
An image formed deformed
The mark I've borne
A mark of scorn to you

Consume my love, devour my hate
Only powers my escape
The moon is out, the stars invite
I think I'll leave tonight

So soon I'll find myself alone
To relax and fade away
Do you know what's coming down
Do you know I couldn't stay free?

I shall be free
I shall be free free
Free of those voices inside me
I shall be free

2003-06-15T05:34:00.000+08:00

ah, just what i was waiting for.
i can sleep na. sleep muna.
other things i ardently
wait for can wait :)

click. click.

2003-06-15T03:52:00.000+08:00

clickity click
walang magawa eh

. . .

those toy bricks i found outside my window this morning. james keeps leaving his stuff all over the place. i felt bad for his toy brick set, (well they were mine when i was a kid), most of them are all gone na, except for a few surviving pieces. i loved them dati, i used to spend hours on end building whole worlds out of them. err, dito pinaglaruan ko lang yung focus haha. i always wanted to do that.

the other two pics, wala lang. flash. lol. galing ng flare o :)

. . .

bago yung blogger ha, nag improve ng interface hehe. same old plain vanilla features though.

father's day

2003-06-15T03:10:00.000+08:00

extended family on my father's side came over to our house to celebrate father's day. im glad my folks are a tight bunch, even if i take it for granted. before tonight (technically, last night) me and an older cousin arranged that the party would be webcasted to the other families that are at the states (via ym's webcam thing). pretty much everything went smoothly, except that it had to rain like a bitch, sayang lang yung pinagod ko na paglilinis sa yard namin earlier. medyo oks lang kasi everyone packed into the living room for dinner, turned out mas masaya that way. cousins namin sa states were seeing us through the webcast, and it was pretty fun kasi asaran pa rin like they were here. nalubos net connection namin nun hehe, grabe yung bandwidth na ginamit ko kasi maraming nanood :)

come near midnight, my brother (bday din nya sakto sa fathers day) bought cases of beer para sa magpipinsan. tapos tinapat namin yung webcam sa inuman para lang mang-inggit sa mga nasa states. hehe. kasalanan ko pa ata kung wala kaming makuha na balikbayan box this year hehehe

took a bit over a hundred pics. it's over at my imagestation :) sipag ko mag upload ngayon ah, wala pang isang araw nasa web agad

2003-06-10T19:26:00.000+08:00

susubukan kong umalis ng opis ng 7 (ngayon na pala), tignan ko lang kung totoo ngang may mata ang bos ko sa batok nya. saka anoba, may dinner kami..

2003-06-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

dear Forces That Be,

plis sana magkasweldo na ko nitong period. alam kong di pa kumpleto employment requirements ko, pero importante naman na submit ko bank account number ko, pwede na yun diba? sige na, kasi sangdamakmal na utang na ang babayaran ko.. biro mo, eight months ako walang trabaho (echo: eyt mants???) kaya puro credit card gamit ko pambili ng xbox, bagong sapatos, at relo (loko lang).. yung utang ko may utang na rin, saka feeling ko lampas ng kalendaryo na ang interes persen na babayaran ko. pinutulan na rin ako ng t-----elepono at di na ko maka kan-----trepoblistubiloo (korni, wala akong maisip eh)

pramis ko di na ko hindi magtatrabaho ng eight months (echo: eyt mants???) at minsan-minsan nalang ako maleleyt sa trabaho. plis sana umabot ng akinse sweldo ko.

sincerely kunyari,
jb

2003-06-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

tsk. monday na monday ganito ako. hehe

2003-06-07T12:58:00.000+08:00

i miss james na, i havent been messing around with him for a while since i come home late na in the evening. ey and last night james went shopping for his school stuff. haha my mom told me about it. james was weaving through the store isles daw, sobrang excited abt getting stuff for school na.. when he gets all his stuff together ill go get a pic of him hehe. tiny stormy schoolboy

he shows me how to do his catatonic look, it's how he looks like when he walks out his room in the morning after waking up

ive to get a new monitor and a new hard drive soon. my 20" just stopped working.. i bought it for P7000 some two years ago from an office clearout sort of thing. not bad i guess, pero where am i going to store the big lug when i get a new one? hard drive ko naman nagiinarte na rin, it's threatening me with "imminent hard drive failure" whatever that means. sabi ng friend ko ignore ko lang kasi his has been like that din for 2 years na, but id rather be safe. sayang naman lahat ng porn ko hahaha (loko lang sira) mp3s pa

bought a pirated animatrix vcd from ayala's sidewalks. ive yet to see if it's any good. ok lang, mura lang naman eh.

craving for popcorn

2003-06-07T03:41:00.000+08:00

sa taxi pauwi, kicked up a conversation with the driver. turns out it was his 49th birthday just an hour ago (it was 1am). he talked on about his 8 kids, and his wanting to drive his cab these wee hours instead na makipag inuman kasi kaarawan nga nya. i commented, pasukan pa naman. oo sabi nya, daming gastusin. his youngest was 9 months old (ka birthday ko pa) tapos his eldest was in college. that was a real straightforward sense of priorities if i ever saw one :)

friday work is different from any other day's. halos kaya mong pitasin sa ere yung anticipation ng mga tao sa opisina. pero sa amin hindi.. weirdo, 730 pm pumasok boss namin sa kwarto, eh kumpleto pa kami nasa opisina, sabi nya, naku 730 na ang dami pa rin tao dito, baka mawalan na ako ng trabaho nito.. uwi na kayong lahat uwi!!! sabay hampas hampas samin ng isang ream ng printer paper (kung bakit sha mawawalan ng trabaho, hindi ko alam). hala sige uwian na, maski di pa tapos yung ginagawa kong alas tres pa yung due hehe

had a real nice (late) dinner after. wish more :)

took pics! haha like ill show :Þ

2003-06-06T01:57:00.000+08:00

follow up. now that ive thought about it, i dont think "frustration" was the word for it (from last post). frustration, eh "disappointment" or "defeat" yung connotations nun, so it's not nga :)

*jumps back in bed*

2003-06-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

whew and double whew.

im still cranking out trying to get used to my work sked. i rarely open my home pc na (tapos nasira pa monitor ko huhuhu) so most of my personal mail fly out the windows (err, yeah). i cant blog as much either, and by the time i do, tamad na ko to make kwento (like say, last weekend's mt. ugu climb.. pictures pala here). i wana spend time din with my guitar but ayun, ive to find time talaga. and behind everything din there's this perpetual thought that lingers thats inevitable & hard to surpress; and it's not that it's all bad, actually it's good. hahaha ang gulo no? my source of both happiness and frustration. i know what to do about it but i dont because of some silly things.

. . .

kalimutan ko na na ang mahal magtrabaho sa makati. sows, kakain ka lang ng meryenda, sapuwe na mawawala sa iyo. buti nalang may jolijeep paminsan-minsan, ok lang mag banana kyu (na mahal din, siguro dahil mahal ang brown sugar sa bingo). at sa tanghalian? kow. kawawa ka kung sosyal mga katropa mo sa trabaho. maganda sa sizzling kayo kumain para di mo mapansin umuusok wallet mo. dati sa unang trabaho ko pinagtsatsagaan ko na yung sandwits sa vendo (kinse lang, malamig pa, oo sarcastic ako) pero ngayon mahiya naman ako, ang ganda ng ambience ng opisina namin para kumain lang ng ganun. saka pagagalitan ako ng bos ko, dapat daw may image na minementeyn. image, my foot. eh kulang nga ng botones yung polo ko eh iimage image pa ko dito. heniwe, dun ako sa canteen kumakain, medyo mura na sa P75, may free pang matabang na juice na isang lagok lang ang laman. tipong di mo na malalaman kung anong juice yun kasi naubos na agad. e at least may libreng juice. yung kape sa opisina eh P50 kada cup, pero "honesty" basis. huu, honesty. kaya pala may surveillance camera sa pantry..

syaks ang haba na pala nun hahaha. tutulog na ko.

2003-05-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

grabe, ang daming work. got a bit buzzed with everything that came my way.

there's the verdict; i opted out of the band na rin. i guess it's because id never have the regular time to give. weeknights are a lot iffy, given the nature of my work, then weekends arent that free either, kasi most likely id rather be unwinding instead. and at least once a month a weekend would be spent out in the slopes and sky. so there goes my rock and roll dream haha

im lots excited by where im headed, career-wise. looks like ill be dealt really nice cards, up to me nalang to play (and bet) well. buti nalang, or i would had rather played music for a living nalang :)

now that i have money again (chuckle) lots of things come to mind :) spiffy new trail runners, a sleek tri-tech baby, and an impy new cel. hahaha ang lakas managinip! but there's really only one thing i really very want :)

2003-05-24T02:52:00.000+08:00

first week at work went pretty well, and if that was any indication of how things generally would be (i doubt it though), everything should be fairly interesting naman. pretty sure that ill be learning more things kasi the environment is a lot more organized and committed. at the same time i better shape up too hehe.

on the other hand, with all the effort going into boxing myself back into corporate shape, ill be losing time for other things, more likely lose them entirely. my band's one of my bigger concerns, ive hardly put deserving effort into it. i love it a lot, the music and performing and everything, but then i guess it eventually has to make way. maybe theres a way such that i still stay in the band, but my bandmates, consequently having more time to pitch in than me now, would feel that id lack the dedication na, in terms of the time i put. sayang, ive done some tracks pa naman. bahala na i guess

this is my first weekend! cant deny that it feels different already, this soon hahaha. i was expecting it wouldnt be so much of a big deal since the biggest (8-month) weekend of my life just rolled off a week ago.

2003-05-21T08:01:00.000+08:00

C A L M L I K E A B O M B !

2003-05-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

if there is one thing
____...
it is that one thing
________...

should be peerless tenacity
(temerity, perchance)
____...
could be, been mine

2003-05-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

woohoo started working na ulit. while it's too early to tell really, i think ill have more of a good time naman that not. i suppose i expect din crappy stuff to happen, like typically crawling overtime work, pero work wont be work without crappy stuff happening (or else itd be called play or something na.. "oh sorry i cant come to your party, i have play that day eh")

someone was complaining that summer's over too soon, i guess it's true too, but i dont fret about it naman. im actually happy to see the rainy days na.

got my ditty paws on a matrix reloaded ost cd. shewt ganda nya. it's a double cd pack, disc two's an enhanced cd (audio with data track), and has animatrix previews and trailers, and a documentary. the first disc was enough treat na nga eh hehe (m.manson, w.zombie, teamsleep, ratm, dmb, whew!). animatrix nakaka intrigue! 9 film shorts, anime, cg anims! i got na some of them, i cant overstate how cool they are

. . .

ive revamped my sleepsked na, im supposed to hit the sack by midnight, or im going to have to do something not nice to myself, like, self-punishment of sorts, i dunno. so im playing sleep-ballady aerosmith and smashing pumpkins (yes, such songs exist) and think about insipid issues of mine that dont get resolved and lie down and doze off wthout knowing it

2003-05-17T17:04:00.000+08:00

.: i saw what went in it! im not touching it!

2003-05-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

.: Libra's 2003 Romance Report
As Jupiter finishes up in lively Leo, you need to decide what makes you happy. By August of 2003, this pressing question becomes a life issue. Whether wanting or wed, this will be a romantic crossroads. Balance things out as best you can, but don't over-compromise. Selfishness is premium stock now. You have to be exactly who you are. Good lovin' months: February, June and October.

cheesy hehe

. . .

was supposed to go to a kid's camp today, basically a group of special children (from stepping stone learning center) out in the mt.makiling grounds. camping and simple mountaineering activities. amci sends a group of volunteers to the event annually. ive been looking forward to it pa naman. it's held annually anyway eh, so i can go next time, err.. next year.

2003-05-16T00:48:00.000+08:00

just got to watch xmen2 kanina, really nice movie, except storys way off from the original. saya that the movie was long, and that there were lots of "other" mutants (shown on stryker's database hehe). sayang colossus was underplayed, one of my favorite pa naman. and pretty cool shadowing on the phoenix, it left lots for the next installment of the movie :)

night made better by a nicey dinner too :)

and now for the matrix hehe

2003-05-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

PER BIR REG. 12-2003, EFFECTIVE APR. 1, 2003 WE WILL ADJUST INTEREST AND FEES TO INCLUDE 10% VALUE ADDED TAX (VAT). WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO COLLECT THE 10% VAT RETROACTIVE JAN. 1, 2003

aba at di pa sila na kuntento sa baliw na imposition na yan, mag reretroactive charge pa raw! grr. no more card swiping for this confounded consumer boy. ekonomista ba talaga yang presidente na yan??

hehe. okay. back to our regular programming

2003-05-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

galing. pretty soon ill be swimming like that. it's harder than it looks, olympic swimmers do stroke like that but then it has taken them years to really learn it :)

(source freestyle here, breaststroke here)

2003-05-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

he believes hes sublime but he isnt
he goes by mirth and insouciance
and cleanly avoids the puddles
but then with loneness
his melancholy visits him
embraces like illness inside
and it devours his heart
he falls to a sad seclusion
so disguised and shrouded
that even he does not know it

taken from a journal

2003-05-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

this morning my brother was furious, his Lush shampoo was almost empty, and he just bought it a couple of weeks ago. i told him it must have been our sisters (they take baths kasi sa bathroom namin).

i almost shared him how i avoid that trouble; i take off the label and write on the bottle with pentel pen, say, "Athletes Foot Syrup" or "Pantanggal ng Buni" or something to that effect. no one would touch those would they. i didnt tell my brother kasi i had whitish "labuyo paste" (my l'oreal gel) in the and mahahalata nya hehe

. . .

ive accepted na pala that job offer. back to the coal mines i go

2003-05-13T03:50:00.000+08:00

walk dont run :)

listening (mostly) and looking out on the road, long stroll regretedly too short still

2003-05-13T03:47:00.000+08:00

james meets u25. pity that spunky puppy wasnt around, but the fries like candles were enough. u25 experiences first-hand the terrors of jamesiditis (mild degree, only the mouse-controllings and no spilling water on the keyboard yet).

earlier, caught him playing with his 'laptop'. someday he'll have his own pc, and it'd be naughtier than mine

2003-05-12T11:06:00.000+08:00

i was offered na the position that i was anxious about, ive asked til tomorrow until i give my decision whether i should accept. there it goes, my bum days are numbered. it's been fun while it lasted.

2003-05-11T03:15:00.000+08:00

that jog clinic went well (except for the fact that it had to be at 6:30 in the morning), but ive fallen back na on my running since it's been a while since i last jogged. kakatawa nga kasi nung tumatakbo kami ni w, pag di ko na kaya, hintay ko siya mauna maglakad, para makalakad lang din ako, kunyari pa na sinasabayan ko lang, eh ako rin pagod na pala hehehe

registered for a 10k run two weeks from now, same venue. maybe it was for the shirt (that the runners receive) that was really nifty, maybe it was for the longedfor company :) anyway, we have to prepare for it na, unless ok lang samin maglakad some ways.

thing finished 8:30 am. there were bits of pep talk about jogging technicalities that i found useful. but even more interesting was nung pinagusapan nila yung 100-day contest ng Ford Ranger, yung mga contestants vie for the prize vehicle by staying the longest inside, well, the vehicle itself for (duh surprise) 100 days. survival sardinas style. hehe bahala na kayo mag imagine

well after we had the whole day pa! laid back talaga hehe sobra. got news that hatchoo the puppy was a big window star na. dinner was great, had it at a barbeque-han along katipunan, with a short drink after it. here; lights and her tokwa and my isaw :)

went to my first hypermart visit too haha. that grocery was huge. anyway came across a giant plastic bottle (it's true, it was 4 feet tall) of marshmallows. id love to give one to little james, i can imagine how he'd squeal in delight even by just seeing it lang :)

caffeine banana milk waffle long chat and misguided uno

had to walk home too ;)

2003-05-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

wonderful saturday! terribly felt lang that i left something undone. minsan kasi some things are hard to do. sucks to feel bottled, even if yung loob ng bottle eh seen clearly from outside din naman. corkscrew!!

2003-05-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

ive rigged up my pc here to do a bit of home recording... ill pretend youre even a bit interested to listen ha... i jacked up my guitar through my guitar processor to the soundcard.. i knew it would have sounded thin and anemic, but buti nalang the processor had an amp simulator, for what good it was, at least. then i pulled some digital recording apps from the web (demo, mind you) and went on to evaluate. let's see, there was sonicfoundry's Vegas+DVD, Sound Forge, and Acid Pro, and finally syntrillium's CoolEdit Pro. so far ive been using CoolEdit to do most of the track recording and mixing, which it does pretty well (or im just new to stuff, that which i suppose). Acid Pro takes care of the drum tracks that i stick into the multitrack. aside from those, not much yet hehe. ive doled out a short demo that ive sent na to my bassist so he could plug his own track to it. there. anyway you can stop acting interested now :)

. . .

i guess i wanted to blog somthing lang. not much stuff these days haha. tamad mag blog eh. oh yeah, there's this.. just gone through the fourth interview na in an application to a company that ive been rooting to get into. if it offers, then good for me. that mean's im meant for it :) otherwise, means lang that i should be sticking my butt somewhere else that's worth my while :)

. . .

busy weekend, this one. supposed to wake up early tomorrow for a jog clinic, tapos sa sunday swim laps pa. i should do my body a favor haha. end of this month's a major climb with pexodc and ssoc that should be fun. been a while since i last went up sa nueva vizcaya. haha i remind myself tuloy of someone na kating kati nang umakyat :)

. . .

havent been able to whip out my digicam too as much as i wanted to. minsan i find what could have been really good shots, then di ko naman pala dala cam ko. funny how things become so available when you cant take them

2003-05-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

whew finally got this new template down pat. ha like it was a big deal, this time i spent as little time as i could doing it so as to avoid getting sawa with the design. im still at work with it, im trying to cover up the banner ad on top using layering. not much, but it works to a degree anyway.

i snagged the idea from ampalaya vines growing in a small corner on our front yard. the title font was fun to do too :)

ive still to add a few stuff, like that dummy media link. it's supposed to go to a sidebar with thumbnails. blah.

as i said, as little time as i could :)

2003-04-30T02:46:00.000+08:00

of farewells and sleeping teddy bears.

2003-04-27T05:47:00.000+08:00

(whew, my guessings im too bleary na. should crawl up sa sack but me paws are strapped to the keyboard)

2003-04-27T05:37:00.000+08:00

20 hours awake and i cant feel an urge to slumber. maybe i sit here feeling phaseic-reminiscent (yes my sparce love affair with making up words) as i wait for the sky to light up through my curtains; yesterday had been spritely and made of mirth, stuff that happy thoughts are made of

my chair and pc presently devours the time that belonged to my bed. i fell through LJs from links and had nice reads too. some people have all the writing sense it seems, but im fine reading off their blogs. strangers' are the ones that are most ducky to read

the sun's peeking na! i remember pala i kept people from knowing things last night but i really really needed to do so. i guess ill just contritely tell nalang in time. minsan kasi you cant help to keep things to yourself, even from people closest to you

. . .

kwento jb kwento

2003-04-25T11:25:00.000+08:00

ever wondered about band names? i came across Nerf Herder and wondered if they were named after an unpopular profession in Star Wars. after a short seek, found this novel site, which confirms my guess, and gave me more to bowl over :)

other bits:
Black Sabbath and White Zombie are named after b-ish horror movies (their plots were quite interesting though, and Sabbath was a trilogy of 3 short films)

The Doors was after a book, and Depech Mode after a french magazine

Foo Fighters after WWII-era UFOs, Nine Inch Nails after stakes that nailed Jesus to the cross, Incubus after a man-devil that forces fornication upon sleeping girls. whew.

there were listings on bands named after songs/albums of other bands. Godsmack, Alice In Chains' track on Dirt. Machinehead, album by Deep Purple. and Radiohead a Talking Heads song. (I had a project band named Revolver, after the Beatles' album) :)

my favorite entries:
Audioslave, name which they bought from a UK band which shares its name (they actually thought of the same name), for 30,000 somethings (Nirvana had the same problem too, with an indian pop band i think).

Jane's Addiction, after a hooker that the whole band went though ("Dave, pass the Jane please")

and the Beastie Boys' "Boys Entering Anarchistic States Toward Internal Excellence," which i honestly think they made up way after actually getting the name ;)

. . .

saklolo wala akong magawa! LOL

2003-04-25T01:02:00.000+08:00

i had a really good evening this night. many things that i miss.

maybe if i had the sense, even foolish, basta driven, to act, i could make things happen. i have those wishes, but theyre only as good as the possibility that they realize or happen (so wishing for the moon remains fairytale); im a rabidly optimistic fellow, but sometimes the gravity of my longing screws it all up. the more important it is for me, the bigger chance of botching it up instead. so a lot of times i rather hesitated.

so i look down nalang and took a nicey pic of the food :)

2003-04-21T03:38:00.000+08:00

gig at 1320 espana. the band's first after 4 years, and with me as their guitarist. i cant say we did pretty well kasi we didnt hahaha. we were laughing nalang at each other's mistakes. arn's bass sounded crap off the mixed end and my wah was making bad noises and all of us were off-time. anyway, point was to have fun (sure, they always say that), and we did kasi nagmumurahan na kami sa stage, short of throwing our instruments at each other. and buti (or bad?) a couple of friends were there to watch din, coincidentally. so i was able to hear from them about our sucky set. haha, like i need to be told.

got buzz new strings at last. didnt use my digital processor during the gig because i wanted to come off raw, using the tube amps lang for drive, but it turned out not too well. and as i mentioned, my wah coughed up dirty sounds when i used it too much. fix fix.

. . .

my new template's stuck in limbo again. lagi nalang i get tired of the design just before i get to finish it. maybe i spend too much time making one kasi.

2003-04-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

Help Wanted: Telepath.
You know where to apply.

. . .

my past six months has been one big weekend! sometimes im gleeful about it, sometimes i drop into self-pity, but mostly im happy, and im well to leave it at that :) i dont plan to stay this way though. i cant and dont want to get too used to this haha (like im not na)

ill be moving to another host in a few days, m was so bounteous to offer bedspace in his geeky-randy techscene machine, i cant refuse hehe. that is, while i had the capacity to whip up a new template (which i am a sloth when it comes to) and learn b2 (im ditching the venerable blogger sniff). me bows to the dude of zim.

all this band stuff is cathing up with me. practice skeds here and there, and ill kill to be able to keep doing it when i finally get my dayjob. im pitching up our bandsite na rin, and i also offered to put up one for a friend's band named free beer (figure it out). my guitar buzz is also getting, err, buzzed; he still has his old strings on him (theyre a year old if you wanna believe that) and im too poor to outfit him with new ones. drats where is that day job

m if you read this, i owe you a banner. out of appreciation and stuff, you know. haha

. . .

keen on malaika :)

2003-04-04T02:36:00.000+08:00

added some james :)

. . .

saya pala magpraktis ng apat na oras derecho, na nakatayo, na may 9lb na gitara nakasabit sa katawan mo, etc etc (nakakapagod isipin eh haha). tapos sa sobrang saya, bukas daw ulit, buong araw nanaman. sana naman may makuha ako sa ginagawa kong ito :Þ sa perfect pitch sa smcity kami, libre dahil siguro kasi drummer namin staff dun. may konting kaguluhan nga nangyari eh, pero pampahaba lang yun; dumating kasi yung ex-guitarist na pinalitan ko. eh parang akala nya kasama pa sya sa banda (di papala sinasabi sa kanya) sabay pagkwentuhan pa, kita ko sa mukha ng mga kabanda ko e parang "naku hehehe patay," tapos buti nalang di pa kami nagstart nun kundi nakita na nya na ako na pala yung gitarista... anyway haha, kakatawa lang, ginagawa nilang big deal hehe

had a nice unwinder afterwards though :) i wouldnt mind at all if it happens over every week

2003-04-01T01:45:00.000+08:00

one stride always leads to another
and footsteps will always be behind

i can always look back when i want
but that means taking my eye off
where im going

where ive gone